The Top 10 Rules of Life
1. Never give yourself a haircut when drinking.
2. You need only two tools: WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn’t move and it should, use WD-40. If it moves and shouldn’t, use duct tape.
3. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
4. When you make a mistake, make amends immediately — it’s easier to eat crow while it’s still warm.
5. The best advice that your mother ever gave you was, “Go! You might meet somebody!”
6. If they say you are too good for him/her, believe them.
7. Learn to pick your battles; ask yourself, “Will this matter one year from now? One month ? One week? One day?”
8. Never pass up an opportunity to pee.
9. Living well really is the best revenge. Being miserable because of a bad or former relationship may mean the other person was right about you.
10. You can’t demand something as a “right” unless you are willing to fight to death to defend everyone else’s right to the same thing.
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